In seclusion :
I went to psychiatric hospital for months and months on end due to hypermania. I was not always sectioned but once spent 50 days in seclusion as I had terrible mania. I didn’t have a shower for a whole month. It was a very scary time as nothing seemed to make sense. I was having an out of body experience, or it seemed something like that. I was all alone except for the nurse/carer sitting outside the room. Health professionals would come and go but I ended up shouting at them. I met many psychiatrists. I was pleased when I left seclusion.
Out of seclusion, experiences I’ve had in five mental health hospitals:
Medication time was an important part of the day. I always took an active role in making sure I was getting the right dose and the right medication.
The nurses and health care assistants seemed to spend most of their time overseeing patients rolling cigarettes and then taking them out for a cigarette. As I didn’t smoke I was less likely to be able to go outside for walks. I might go out just once a day. I believe that there should be dedicated smoking rooms so nurses do not waste any time supervising smoking.
Food was very bland and we had the same lunches and dinners every week, this was the case in most hospitals. There was very little to look forward to in any hospital.
I never witnessed any violence or crimes on the ward. The psychiatrists I have seen have been very competent and kind. I was terrified having electroconvulsive therapy however but it really helped. When very ill I would pace back and forth for hours on end. I might have looked slightly strange. Sometimes I was discharged worse than when I came in. One excellent hospital had their own therapeutic classes such as woodwork, history, badminton and country walks.
I never encountered a bad or rude nurse, most were very kind.
After being in and out of hospital for years I was moved to a supported living place. This was a stepping stone between hospital and living independently. I was there for three years. In April 2024 I have recently got my own place. I am still receiving support but it feels absolutely like freedom!
If you’re in hospital reading this, you will get better - I am certain you will. Say to yourself it’s a temporary thing. Take care.
Thank you Ben for your honesty and excellent blog. This section in particular very powerful. In debates about mental health it's so important to get an insight from a person who has been inside the system - and you provide this very eloquently and non judgementally. It's a voice not heard enough but you provide one loud and clear. May you be well.
I can’t imagine how awful it must have been . Not all hospitals use seclusion but the ones that still do, can’t believe that some hospitals don’t use it. . It must be stopped. The mental health system is broken and something must be done to improve the situation. Very brave to write about your experience. A
Reading about your seclusion fills me with anger and frustration with the M H system as I cannot imagine seclusion - 'doing solitary' as it's called in prison - doing any one any good, only harm.
Even in other settings there was nothing therapeutic...
You mention only ONE good place where there was woodwork, walks, history and badminton etc It's not rocket science that being encouraged to take part in activities, helps everybody!
No wonder you at last feel 'free'. I'm so glad for you. L